Blind Love
by Lil' Black Angel
Summary: Love is like faith sometime you have to take a leap. Ren x Yoh yaoi


"Blind Love"

By: Lil Black Angel

Pairings: Ren x Yoh

Feedback: Yes please I love hearing from people.

Summary: Love is like blind faith sometimes you have to just take a leap.

Disclaimer: Shaman King is copyright by Hiroyuki Takei. I own no part of Shaman King. This fanfic is for entertainment only. No profit was made from it.

Warnings: Yaoi, that is male/male relationships.

oOOo

**Act I: Contemplation**

Ren stood in the graveyard contemplating. In this bustling metropolis the lights of the city drowned out the stars and it was only here in the resting place of the dead that he found any comfort. It was the only place that he could observe the heavens properly. It may not be as good as home however it was the best spot in the city. He stood on top of one of the mausoleums trying to clear his mind of the obsessive thoughts that he has been having lately. But nothing helped. The more he tried to distract himself the more he thought about it. It was the large pink elephant in the room that would not go away. He had been standing there looking at the stars for hours thinking about one person, someone who mystified him at every turn, someone who Ren considered to be his best friend and his worst enemy.

"Yoh Asakura…" he whispered softly.

"I hate everything about you," he said venomously. "From the way you smile, to the way you walk to the way you always put others first…even the way you sleep!" he continue his rant to himself. "Absolutely everything!" He clutches his fists and shouted to the sky, "So why is it that I also find myself always thinking about you?"

"From the moment that I meet you, there was something special about you. We fought and I almost killed you…" he paused in mid rant remembering that fight, it held a sore spot for him for many reasons. "But in the end you won," he finished his thought. "In our next fight I wanted to destroy you. But still you didn't flee from me. Instead you helped me overcome the hatred in my heart. You stood beside me, fought with me, and believed in me. You never gave up on me." Ren took another pause to wide away the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes. He would not cry, not here and not over a confession that he would never be brave enough to voice to the one it was about. Swallowing the lump in his throat he began again, "Eventually I let you pass the walls I built around my heart. You proved that I am human, which I hate to admit."

He jumped down from his perch and walked over to the lone tree that stood by Amidamaru's grave. He looked around and noticed how quiet it was. The only spirit that he could detect was his own companion. The others probably ran out of fear or respect for his privacy. It didn't matter now he had to finish getting it out. If he didn't do it now he might just explode. Sitting down he rested his back again the tree trunk.

"You don't treat me differently then the others in you little gang but I want you too. I want you to pay attention to only me!" he screamed like a spoiled child as he slammed his elbow against the tree behind him.

"To notice just me, but you can't can you?" he asked sarcastically. A sick smile graced his face as he continued. "No your heart is too big, your eyes too wide to ignore injustice, tragedy, and others in pain. You say that you want to be shaman king so you can have an easy life, so you would never have to work and all that garbage," he let out with a sick laugh. "But the truth is if you were to win you would never sleep or rest because you would try to fix the world's problems and make everyone happy. Just like you're doing now. You would be a friend to everyone and then I would have to share you with the world. Then they would know what I know…that you are a treasure a diamond in the ruff." Now he really was crying, despite himself. The Chinese shaman was tired and emotionally drained there was nothing left in him to fight these unwanted feelings.

"I'm petty, selfish, single minded…everything you're not and I hate you for that too. I hate you for making me want to follow you, just like everyone else you gets to know you does. Like Anna even though you wouldn't believe it, like Manta who looks up to you like an older brother, just like Ryu and Horo Horo who adore you as their best friend. They would all follow you into hell if you asked them to. I hate that too," he said bitterly.

"But how do you think of me?" he asked curiously as if Yoh would appear out of thin air and answer him. "As a friend, just one of the guys, someone to pity, an opponent, a pawn to control, or maybe someone to love. I have to know!" his voice grew louder with each possibly provided until he was once again screaming into the night air.

"Do you know sleepless nights like I am now? Of course not! You could sleep through anything can't you? But do you know why I hate you the most?" he asked as he stood up and pointed out to the sky above accusing the stars themselves of all his problems. "The fact that you made me fall in love with a goofy, mindless, stupid, selfless hero," he shrieked the last part so loud that he was sure that the city below him paused for a moment to listen. Falling to his knees he takes a deep breath as he wipes the tears away with the back of his sleeve. A small but genuine small graced his face. "You are my yin. You balance me," he confessed as he stared up into the night sky and watched the stars dance in the heavens.

**Act II: Truth**

Yoh stopped to rest from his morning jog. From the corner of his eye he saw someone sitting at his favorite spot on Monument Hill. Upon closer inspection Yoh smiled to see that it was Ren. The young shaman wonder how long he had been there. He did disappear after dinner. His smile widen at the thought that the other boy spending the entire night star glazing. Secretly he wished that Ren would invite him along but he understood that the other boy needed his space.

'_There he is, pouting under the tree. Does he know how much I enjoy watching him? I have since I first saw him. He was such a bad ass or at least he was trying to be. No one thought that you were good or could be but I did. I believed in you,'_ Yoh thought to himself. His eyes had a certain light to them that only appeared when he was watching or talking to the other boy. He started to move toward him when his daydream was interrupted.

"Yoh! Who told you that you could take a break?" Anna demanded as she stood only five feet behind him.

He did a quick jumping turn to face her. His mouth hung open in surprise as his mind tried to catch up to the situation. "Ah! I was just…Wait what are you doing here?" Yoh tried to explain but could not finish his sentence as his fiancée interrupted.

"I'm taking a shortcut to the store. And no buts add five more laps to your run today!" she commanded as she glared at him daring him to argue back.

"But Anna that's not fair!" he said bravely. It has been a long day for the would-be shaman king and it was still morning. All he wanted was to take a nap under a tree somewhere.

She had no words for him. Her eyes closed to only show a small fraction of their usual coal black orbits. The frown on her face showed that she meant business. He placed his headphones over his ears and starts to run again. Yoh focused on the beat of the music and taking the next step, never missing a beat. He never notice how every time he ran past the graveyard two golden eyes followed his moments closely, watching how his muscles moved under sweat soak clothes. Or how the owner of those eyes wanted to join him and just be near him.

As the sun set in the western sky Yoh finally finished his chores and training for the day. He wanted to rest by Amidamaru's grave for a few moments before finally going home and fixing dinner for Anna. As he approaches the grave he sees Ren and smiles at the other boy. He wondered if he has spent the whole day there or if he was there to rest too.

'_The object of my affection,'_ both boys thought to themselves as they made eye contact.

However Ren added, _'But he's too thick headed to see that. Is that goof waving?' _

And indeed Yoh was before he took off his shirt to wipe the sweat from his body. The Japanese boy walked up to the other with a silly grin on his face. "Hi," he said softly.

"Hi," the other boy repeated his voice slightly rasped.

Yoh sat next to him as closely as he could without being too obvious. He was so close in fact that their legs toughed each other. Both surprised and embarrassed by how near Yoh was to him, Ren back away. Yoh was slightly hurt by this action but told himself that Ren was touchy and not use to being around people. The Chinese shaman rotated his arm as if to work out a kink that was not there, he would do anything to distract himself from the other. Yoh scudded behind him and places his hands on his shoulders. It was a big risk but one Yoh was willing to take. The other boy looks up at him questionably but says nothing. He blankly stares forward as the object of his obsession's hands worked their way over the muscle in his back. When he finished Yoh hugged him from behind.

'_Torture, this is torture. What can I do? If I move the spell might be broken and he will realize whom he is hugging and flee. But he's always taking risk, sometimes he wins sometimes he loses, maybe I should start,' _Ren told himself. Turning in Yoh's embrace, he stared at him eye to eye, neither backed away.

"Yoh," he whispered.

Ren lead forward so their noses touched and yet Yoh did not back away. His mouth opened slightly, his lips suddenly became dry and licked his lips as he moved in to close the final gap between them.

"Yoh, where are you?" Manta called out. He went out to look for his companion when Anna had sent him to find here missing fiancée and let him know dinner is ready.

The two boys jumped apart. Yoh quickly got up and ran toward his friend, leaving Ren shocked and alone. The Chinese boy's hair straighten out and became pointer as angry ran through his body like liquid fire.

"How dare that insignificant midget interrupt me! Pray to whatever god or gods you want because no one will be able to protect you from me. I'll run you through with my weapon. I'll…"

"Young master Ren," his faithful spirit companion interrupted him.

He turned to look at the glowing ball of energy, "What Bason?" he said irritated.

"What about dinner?" he asked concerned for his master's welfare.

"Forget it," he replied as he settled himself against the large tree behind him. Thoughts of revenge and miss opportunities ran though his mind.

**Act III Confessions**

Throughout dinner Yoh could not help but notice that Ren was not there. _'Didn't he follow me and Manta?' _he wondered. Yoh tapped his fingers as he ate his food. He was worried. As soon as dinner was over he thanked Tamao for a good meal. He was lucky that she was around today to fix dinner and she was even nice enough to volunteer to clean up afterwards. She was a lifesaver. It was a shame that he could never return the pink haired girl's feelings. He knew that she had a bit of a crush on him. Tamao was a good person and deserved someone who could love her back.

Yoh began his search around his home. He started with Ren's room first. He knocked gently but when there was no answer he let himself in. The room itself was plain there were barely any signs that anyone lived in it at all. Yoh frowned at that thought. If Ren wanted to he could easily pack all of his belongs and leave without a trace. The room was cold and empty; it looked like no one had been in it for a while. The young shaman sighed and thought about the last place he saw the other boy. A small smile graced his face as he left the grounds. Why didn't he think of looking there first? After all it was Ren's favorite spot in the city. Jogging quickly he made it to the best stargazing spot in all of Tokyo in no time. Looking up he could see that Ren was still at the graveyard, still at Monument Hill. Silently he walked up behind the boy. Yoh did not want to break the serenity that surrounded the area.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," Yoh commented quietly as he sat next the spiky haired shaman. He hope to catch him off guard but he didn't even flitch when he sat next to him.

"Yes they are," the other boy replied without looking at him. Dejectedly he moved away from the other boy. He felt sick. He has had time to think about his actions earlier that day. After pondering he could only come up with one conclusion. His heart was heavy as he tried to think of the words he was going to use.

"It's peaceful. What are you doing out here?" he started with. His voice was rough even to his own ears. He didn't turn to look at the hurt expression on Yoh's face. He didn't have to; he knew it was there.

Yoh stared intensely at the other shaman. Nothing the other boy would do or say could push him away at this moment. "You didn't come to dinner. I was worried."

"Why?" Ren whispered. He didn't really want an answer to that question but he still asked it.

"Why what?" he asked confused by Ren's question.

Turning to face the other boy for the first time he spat out, "Why are you worried?"

"Because I care," he replied with a goofy smile.

Ren laughs. It was sick, hollow and almost inhuman. "You care too much." It was true, or at least it was in Ren's opinion.

Yoh frowned. Sometimes he didn't understand him at all. He cocked his head to the side as he asked, "What do you mean?"

Getting up he walked away from Yoh to stand at the edge of the hill. He took a moment to look up at the sky. He knows what he wants to say to Yoh and what he needs to say to him and they were both very different things. He wants to tell him that he cares too and kiss the idiot stupid. But at the same time he needs to push the other boy away from him, to protect him.

"You care for everyone. It's sickening," he finally said.

Yoh got up to follow his friend. He reached out for him, "But…"

Ren quickly turned around and batted the other's hand away from him, an ugly snare formed across his face. "But what Yoh tell me!" he screamed.

"But your special," he replied in a small voice. He held his hand protectively to his body. A small pout formed on his face.

Ren turns away from him in shame. He hated himself for hurting Yoh but it was better to hurt him a little now then a lot later.

"Go away Asakura, can't you see I'm busy," he growled.

Yoh didn't budge from his spot instead he hugged the other boy from behind. Ren's eyes opened up an impossible large size, he was too shock to move or push him away. Smiling the Japanese shaman rested his head on the other's shoulder.

"This afternoon you were going to tell me something," he whispered, a small hint of amusement was evident in his voice.

"It's not important," he replied in a deadpan tone of voice.

Yoh shook his head and replied, "Ren please no more games."

Ren turned around in the other's embrace and looked at him. Why won't he leave? He knew that Yoh was hard headed but sometimes he was beyond hope. Could he risk it? He was willing to this afternoon so why was now different? He continued to stare at Yoh. The other boy was unfazed and waited patiently for his reply. He never forced him into anything. He was simply there.

Stupid, he always accused the other boy of being that but in truth he was stupid too if he couldn't see what was right in front of him. Yoh has never backed away from him nor has he ever been able to break him despite him trying to. If he got hurt along the way it would be his own fault, he decided. Staring into his eyes Ren grabbed Yoh's face just to make sure he didn't go anywhere. Slowly he leaned forward, pausing when they were touching noses, giving him one last chance to back away but, he didn't, he never did. Not one to back down from a challenge he closed the last space between them and kissed. Ren kept his eyes opened though the entire time even though Yoh closed his, he didn't want to miss anything. It may have been a simple open mouth kiss but it still sent pulses of electricity down Ren's spine. He pulls away to see Yoh smiling at him. This wasn't one of his goofy I ate something good smile, but a genuine one. Ren returned the gesture with a small smile of his own. Moving forward they kissed again, thinking the same thing.

Your smile is blinding. You blind me with your love.

The End


End file.
